


Sunshine Lollipops

by Qpenguin98



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, Other, Strider Feels, bros a douche bag kinda, but ay it doesnt end in sleep amiright, excessive hugging, thats about it, um, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 04:13:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2678642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qpenguin98/pseuds/Qpenguin98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh shit. Guardians are off limits. You stepped a line and didn't even realize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine Lollipops

Your name is Dave Strider and your sister likes to play games with your head.

You're pretty sure it's got something to do with her prankster's gambit but that's besides the point. The point is you're tired of her fucking with your completely chill as hell head.

"Rose, fucking cut the crap, will you?"

"What do you mean, David?"

"Shit like that. I mean, my name's not even David, alright? Can you cut the shit for like ten seconds? I'd like to think without you delving balls deep into my brain."

She looks amused, almost like she planned for you to snap like that. Knowing her, she probably did.

"But isn't that the point, dear brother? Am I not supposed to pick your brain like this?"

She's got you cornered, but you've got tact.

"But Rosie Posie," you imitate her voice and see her stiffen. "All I wanted was some sisterly advice."

Her eyes are dark and it's the funniest thing you've seen on this god damn meteor. That is, until she talks.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't call me that, Dave."

"Why, sister dearie?"

"Because my mother used to call me that."

Oh shit. Guardians are off limits. You stepped a line and didn't even realize. It must show on your face, the poker's been slipping recently, because Rose's gaze softens considerably.

"David, it's alright. You didn't know. Truly, it was only upsetting for a moment."

You nod before regaining your composure.

"Yeah I gotcha. It's just guardians are off limits and shit. Thought you'd be more pissed than that."

Her look is a strange one as she studies you.

"Forgive me for a second as I break that rule, but why are parents off limits? You simply stated that you weren't going to talk about your Bro and in return we wouldn't talk about mother. Why is that?"

You stare at her blankly. Is she seriously fucking asking you that? You've told her you won't talk, but the urge to is tickling your tongue. You wait a second longer before waving her off.

"Psh, come on Lalonde what do you take me for? I told you I ain't talking so I ain't talking."

"Mhm, yes I can tell by the way you're holding yourself that you definitely don't want to talk at all."

Shit. You thought this was working but obviously not. Shifting draws a smile on her lips, no, scratch that, it's more like a leer. You scowl at her and she adds a quizzical eyebrow to the equation. Fuck your sister.

"Seriously, drop it."

"But we've run out of topics and this one seems to be the most logical option."

"Do you wanna talk about your fucking mom?"

She pauses for a second, giving you a sense of hope, falsifying the belief that you'll get out of this.

"I will if you talk about your brother?" It's an option. She's giving you a fucking option. Why couldn't she just force it out like normal? That would make this easier.

"Fine. Ask a fucking way."

She's content with your answer. For now at least.

"Why don't you want to talk about him? From what you've told me, you loved him very much."

You wince internally.Of course she'd start with that.

"I just miss him, y'know? He was the only constant in life and now he's just gone."

The way she nods makes you uncomfortable.

"What do you mean by constant?"

"What the hell do you think, Lalonde? I grew up with him. The way he did things never really changed. He was always just Bro. That's what I fucking mean by constant."

"Please don't get upset, Dave. I'm simply trying to understand." You search for a hint of humor. You end up fruitless. 

"Sorry. Just frustrated."

Rose squeezes your hand and you squeeze back.

"I'm still not fully understanding why you don't want to talk about him."

The discomfort wafting off of you is thick, palpable, heavy. The pinpricks of crying start at your eyes and you stand, accidentally dragging Rose up with you.

"Look Lalonde, this shrink sesh was as unpleasant as usual, but I gotta scra-"

"Dave Strider you sit back down right now."

You obey the stern tone without a question, avoiding her eyes even through the dark tint of the shades.

"You're thoroughly upset and I'm not letting you go and do god knows what in a mood like this."

Her voice is sharp, dark, quiet, consummate as you stare at the floor. It's so unlike her usual lilt. So much more like his.

"I... I don't want to talk about it because you'll pick."

"Pick?" Her voice is normal again and you breathe a sigh of relief. She sits in front of you on the floor, giving you the power of the situation you note. The feeling of having the upperhand is strange, even though you feign it nearly every waking moment.

"Pick to see if it stuck."

Her posture straightens from the slump and she draws her knees in. "Do tell."

"I mean, I know what he did wasn't right but what the hell was I supposed to do about it." You look at the ceiling. Not Rose. She'll find this weak. "Strifes weren't exactly sunshine lollipops, Lalonde."

You glance down at her behind the tinted glass. All traces of joking are stripped from her features.

"I wasn't allowed to leave until they were over. I mean, he always patched me up, but I couldn't leave. There was no tap out button. I know it was to teach me but it didn't stop at strifes."

Shit. Shit shit shit. You can feel your throat seizing up. Covering your face with your hands was always a help. It doesn't even matter that Rose is there, you just shove your palms over your face and breathe.

"Dave." Her voice startles your hands away. It's calm and measured. "If you need to stop, that's understandable."

You shake your head no. You'll run this lap out and you'll run it good. 

"'S fine. It's not even that bad. Just emotion barriers and shit. He taught me how and then didn't let me drop it around him. If I did, it was one free hit the next strife. Same went for him, but he never lost the poker face. At night emotions were fine because nightmares were definitely a thing and he was super chill about them. We chilled and ate ice cream and shit like that."

Rose's gaze is burning holes in your soul. 

"Dave..." Oh god she's gonna say it. "You do realize he-"

"Don't say it."

"Dave."

"Don't do it Rose. Please. I know. I already know just don't-"

You cut yourself off with a dry heave. Fuck you're breaking. You sob into your hands and it feels good. It feels like you're floating. But it's daytime and you're still waiting for that free hit to come. So when Rose touches your shoulder, you flinch accordingly. Her hand isn't even as big as his was, but it's just as warm and fuck you're fucked up for wishing that it's him. After all the screwed up shit he did to you, you'd gladly cling to him to make the pain stop. 

Rose seems to realize this as she takes you into her arms. You cry for what seems like hours into the cushy orange fabric that Rose's tunic is made of. Or maybe you've altered the timestream to make it feel like hours to you and just minutes for her. That sounds plausible. She wouldn't even notice.

After a while, once you quit being a sniveling child, you just rest your head on her shoulder.

"You might wanna put something else on 'cause I kinda just wrecked your tunic," you mumble. She shushes you and pets your hair. It's, embarrassingly, nice. 

That's something you like about your sister. As much as you bitch, she really does know when to stop talking. 

You can't hate him. As hard as you've tried you can't.

Rose kisses your forehead and sits the both of you up. You re adjust your shades and plaster your face back together. She gives you a sympathetic smile.

"I'm guessing that's as deep as we'll be going today, David. Am I correct?"

You nod blankly. She takes your hand and squeezes it again.

"You wanna talk about your Mom Probs or naw?"

She shakes her head. "No, I think we've both had enough of guardian stories for the day." You snort. More than enough for a lifetime. 

"Aight then, let's call this session over Lalonde." You give her an impromptu high five and head out the door. You can hear the sigh off her lips, but choose to ignore it. It's time to go build Can Town up anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyyy tho how yall doin  
> this was based offa tumblr post haha  
> hope you liked it ugh
> 
> http://deliverusfromsburb.tumblr.com/post/103131073318/peregrinemendicant-hussie-comment-from


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